Drummers are the heartbeat of the band, but also a common target for drummer jokes. Ain’t a no-good band without a good drummer, that’s a fact. 

But why do drummers get so much flack in the music world?  Probably because their instrument is loud, big, and complex, which gives plenty of material for ribbin’. 

However drummers don’t take offense, they love their instrument, their spot in the band, and even the jokes themselves. 

They’ll often use ’em jokingly themselves.

What are the best drummer jokes about?

The first thing to say is that there are a lot of them. There are so many of them so they can be divided into different categories.

The best drummer jokes are usually about:

–          Bad drumming

–          Drummer intelligence

–          Drummer riddles

–          Kids jokes

–          Puns about drummers

Here are the funniest jokes about drummers:

Bad drumming:

–          How can you tell the drummer is at the door? –The knocking speeds up

–          “Hey buddy, how late does the band play?” – “About half a beat behind the drummer.”

–          A soldier and a captain climb to the top of a tall hill to look out upon the battlefield. The captain says worriedly, “I don’t like the sound of those drums.” The soldier says, “I know it’s not our regular drummer.”

–          What did the drummer say to the band leader? – Do you want me to play too slow or too fast?

–          Why did the drummer’s wife stop sleeping with him? – Because he used to snare in his sleep

–          Why is it so difficult to defeat a drummer in billiards? – Because they are hard to beat

Drummer intelligence:

–          What do you call a drummer with a half-brain? – Gifted

–          Did you hear about the drummer that finished high school? – Me neither

–          What is the main distinction between a bull and a drummer? – A bull knows when to quit

–          What is the difference between a drummer and a guitar? – A drummer has no strings attached

–          Johnny says to his mother: “mom I want to be a drummer when I grow up”. Mom: “ Johnny, but you can’t do both”

–          How many drummers does it take to solve a maths problem? – A one… a two… a one, two three, four

–          What is the difference between a drummer and a drum machine? – A drum machine gets just one set of instructions.

Drummer riddles:

–          What do you call a beautiful girl on the drummer’s arm? – A tattoo

–          What is the difference between a drum machine and a drummer? – You only have to punch the song into the drum machine

–          What is the last thing a drummer says in a band? – “Hey, how about we try one of my songs”.

–          What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? – Homeless

–          What does a drummer use for contraception? – His personality

–          Why did God send drummers? – So they can beat the devils away.

–          What is the main commonality between a bird and a drummer? – They both can be caught by laying a snare

Kids jokes:

–          What is the drummer’s favorite vegetable? – Beats

–           What is the drummer’s favorite Pokemon? – Rattata

–          What is the drummer’s favorite food for dinner?  – Drumsticks

Puns about drummers:

–          How would a drummer address his daughters? – Anna one, Anna two.

–          Why can a drummer never be late? – Because he always beats the clock.  

–          What would you call a drummer who likes boxing? – A beatboxer

–          What would happen if a drummer hit a man? – A percussion

–          Did you hear a drummer who writes in hieroglyphics? – Too many cymbals

–          What is the best way to practice drums on pillows? – 4 strokes per – cushion  

–          Did you hear the loud noises coming from the loft? – It was very drum-attic

–          How many drummers does it take to bake a cake? – Just one, a Ginger Baker

–          What is a thing a drummer says when someone asks him about his earnings? – I’m Rich, Buddy.

Some extra jokes about drummers:

One day the guitarist decided to go for hair transplant surgery. After a short preparation, they give him a sedative and then anesthesia and operate. 

A few hours after the operation, the guitarist wakes up to find himself surrounded by doctors and nurses.

“What’s wrong”, asked the guitarist

“There was an error”, says the doctor who operated.

“Instead of a hair transplant, we operated to remove half of your brain”, added a doctor. 

After hearing this, the guitarist burst into tears and started shouting at the doctor and nurses:

“I won’t be able to play the guitar anymore”, exclaimed the guitarist.

“I know and I’m very sorry, but I guess you’ll be able to play the drums”, the doctor added, trying to calm him down.


Johnny died and after his death, he went to St. Peter for judgment. After they talked a little, St. Peter says to Johnny:

“There are a few rooms back here. There are people with different IQ scores in them. You should choose where you want to stay for all eternity. Chose the one that fits you”,  said St. Peter and moved to let Johnny pass into the hall behind him.

Above the door to the first room was a sign: “IQ 190”.  Johnny walks up to the door, opens it a little, and starts listening to the conversation between the people inside.

“Do you know that the cosmos is made of matter and antimatter? Black holes are very important and they are a space where the singularity is valid”, said the voices inside.

After hearing this, Johnny closed the door and went to the next door, and above it, there was a sign: “IQ 130”. Johnny opened the door again a little so that he could hear the conversations of the people inside.

“Rock music is the best music. Jazz is also good but you need to understand it”, it was blaring from the room.

When he heard this, Johnny decided to go to the end of the hall and see who was in the last room. When he got to the back door he saw that above it was written: “IQ 10”. 

 Johnny went to the door and opened it. Inside he saw two guys standing side by side. At that moment, one of them looked the other in the eyes and asked:

“What size drumsticks do you use?”

Should you as a drummer be offended by drummer jokes?

Drummers are so important in every band in many musical genres. There is no successful band without a good drummer!

Joking is an important part of a musician’s life, and everything is simpler when the atmosphere in the band is cheerful.

So, if you are a drummer and you hear a drummer joke, don’t be offended. Laugh it off and do what you do best, enjoy your music.

Are the drummers the only ones who get jokes in the band?

No, all band members are susceptible to pranks, and there are pranks for everyone.

It just depends on whose turn it is to be on the joke wallpaper that day…